How would I know anything about sleep deprivation? (In case you’re actually wondering this, let me tell you…)
All of our kids are fairly good sleepers, I’d say. They’ve all had their “phases” where they might have a rough time going to sleep or staying asleep for a week or two. Overall, though, we don’t have much trouble with their sleeping habits.
But my seven-month-old, Shepherd, has introduced me to the world of troubled sleeping habits. As a newborn he was a sound night sleeper, staying asleep for 6-7 hour stretches. But in the last month or so, he’s abandoned those ways and started waking up every hour or two, from about 11 PM to 6 AM.
This post isn’t about how to solve the problem. (I’m trusting that it’s just a phase and he’ll grow out of it soon.) It’s about sharing some of the ridiculously hilarious things I may or may not have said or done over the last few weeks. Here goes…
TEN POSSIBLE SIGNS OF ACUTE SLEEP DEPRIVATION
1. You ask your first grader to read the directions on a recipe because your eyes won’t focus.
2. You put your shirt on inside out…and then backwards…and then backwards again before finally getting it right.
3. You have to reheat the water in your tea kettle at least three times before actually remembering to make your tea or coffee.
4. You pour whole coffee beans into your French press when making said coffee.
5. You put your baby’s diaper on backwards and stare at it for ten seconds before realizing why it looks funny.
6. You eat four handfuls of chocolate chips and call it lunch.
7. Your children ask if they can “be done watching movies now?!” And you reply with “just one more episode, PLEASE.”
8. You let your children write letters and draw pictures in the powdered sugar dust (that’s been on the floor since yesterday) and call it “school.”
9. You feed your dog the cat’s food, and then feed your cat the dog’s food. And you don’t care.
10. You get your kids’ names wrong so many times you stop using their names altogether.
That’s all. And now I’m off to take a 5-minute nap before the baby wakes up.